STEP 20/64 TO LIVE NONVIOLENTLY

20) Self-forgiveness – When you judge yourself, you tend to believe that who you are is what you have done or not done, what you have or don’t have. Knowing that who you are is greater than all these things, today, forgive yourself for forgetting the good that is in you.

Sunday morning, and for some reason I’ve got thoughts of dancing girls going on in my brain, I’m thinking about Lou Turks, about the last time I was in that place, the last time I hung out with my old friend Mo. Late on a Saturday afternoon, this strip bar was a real dive, mostly working day’s, were the worn down, third string dancing girls, a little more red light shining up on the stage please! We drank up some beers, tossed down some dollars, Mo thanked me as we left I was like, WTF, that’s sure a strange thing for him to say. The last time Mo and I talked was the next day, late Sunday night, almost, I still hear him now, him saying, “you’ve been a good friend”, that call still haunts me I was the last one to speak with him, I really should have known, It was an unsettling conversation, we covered all kinds of ground, we laughed, I asked had he been crying, he said “hell yes!” he asked if I would call his mom monday morning right at 8, when I asked him why he said don’t ask, just promise that you will, I said ok. We said good bye, thats the last I’d ever talk with Mo, this story of heartache, heart break, betrayal, integrity, trust, I ain’t got the heart right now to tell it, I’ll tell ya boy, me and him, man we’d gone through some shit, he died 17 years ago tonite, damn I miss my friend.