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Rock and Roll


(As developed and perfected in New York City)

Step 1:
As citizens of New York City, we were born with the understanding that we are superior.
Step 2:
We realized that there is no place greater than New York City; the rest of the world is totally barbaric.
Step 3:

We became adept at manipulating as many people as possible into turning their lives over to our management, even though they may not fully understand our talent.
Step 4:

We made a complete and fearless moral inventory of every acquaintance, no matter how small.
Step 5:
We publicly proclaimed the exact nature of their ignorance and their mistakes.
Step 6:
We assumed our natural role of reminding everyone else how to straighten up and fly right.
Step 7:

We demanded that people who were unable to accept our guidance either shape up or ship out.
Step 8:

We made a list of all persons who had harmed us, and we became willing to do just about anything to get rid of them all.
Step 9:

We took revenge on such people whenever possible, except when to do so would endanger our own lives or increase our odds of spending serious time in jail.
Step 10:
We continued to take the moral inventory of others, and when they were wrong, we promptly and repeatedly informed them about it.
Step 11:
We sought through complaining and nagging to compel others to submit to our will, asking only that they cave in, knuckle under, and do things our way.
Step 12:
Having had a complete emotional breakdown as a result of these steps, we blamed it all on our "Higher Power", AND THEN WE MOVED TO SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA!!!

rock and Roll

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