Communicate with Peter Cross
OFFICIAL INTERVIEW WITH THE ROMBOX (Part 1)
"Being for the benefit of Mr. Kite", and Danny
Rombox: Are we on tape?
Peter Cross:
Sure, why not, I love tape, I eat tape, I live for more tape; in
fact, my entire life is a quest for better ADAT tape.
RB: Are
you a serious artist?
PC: No, I cannot draw at all, and my
painting is
hopeless.
RB: Mr. Cross, may I call you Peter?
PC:
Please do, because if you don’t, I may forget who I am, and I need all the
help I can get these days.
RB: Peter, were you actually born in
the West Village, NYC?
PC: Yeah, at 50 West 9th Street to be exact,
and my first food was pizza, not breast milk, although I did later develop an
almost obsessive obsession with the latter (not the milk).
RB:
How cool, Peter, you grew up in the West Village?
PC: No, I moved
to the suburbs at age 2 to escape the crowds.
RB: Then you are
a suburbanite, Peter?
PC: Worse than that.
RB: How
did the rock and roll business ever let a twerp like you inside?
PC:
Pure accident. I was just barely learning drums, playing along
to Young Rascals songs (yeah, Dino Dinelli) with just a snare drum, high
hat, and one cymbal, when I got a phone call from “THE DOLPHINS” ! ! !
wooooooooooooo…, the hottest band around 'cause they had a regional top 10
hit record called “Surfing East Coast”, a blatant rip-off of the Beach Boys
Surfing USA, and they had just lost their drummer, auditioned several losers,
and did not know where else to turn. I went down for the audition, and
they asked me to play only 3 songs with them. Can you imagine that?
Well, dig this! The first song was “Good Lovin”, the second was
“Ain’t Gonna Eat Out My Heart Anymore”, and the third one was “Do You Feel
It”…. all 3 off the first Young Rascals album! I got the job, of
course. The Dolphins played up and down the East Coast, mostly as
second act to headliners, but because our equipment was already set up, we
often backed up headliners such as The Drifters, Little Anthony (who was
getting littler all the time by then), and so help me lord, I believe I
backed up the Coasters, although I could not swear in court that they were
the real Coasters because I distinctly remember there were a bunch of fake
Coasters at the time. I have a memory (but no mammary) of a resort
called "Grossingers", a gross enough example of jewelry and Jewery at its
best in the Catskill Mountains (hey, no offense, I’m Jewish by ancestry),
and I seem to recall falling off my drum stool over the performance of
Charlie Brown and Poison Ivy. It is possible that I am inventing some
of this, because I suffer from “long term mammary loss”, but the essence of
the story is true…. I think…. I’m reasonably sure… at least
for now, but I reserve the Right to change my testimony at any future date,
so help me
Leflaw.
RB: Ok, so you joined The Dolphins, Porpoises,
whatever… then what? You better say something really interesting in
the next 30 seconds or the Rombox Interest Meter is going to cut off your
oxygen flow, and I do not wish to be associated with your bad odor.
PC:
Um…(thinking fast)…. The Dolphins changed into the Chains,
which in turn changed into the first public version of STEAM, with the SMASH
#1 HIT entitled ……. ahem…. cough, cough…. “ NA NA, HEY HEY,
KISS ‘EM GOODBYE ”, an unbelievably poetic understatement that sold 5-1/2
million records internationally and maintained residuals to its immortal
producer, Paul Leka, for all time as far as I know. Paul also
produced “Green Tambourine”, so let us not condemn him out of hand for
complete lack of lyrical content, please. For his unique use of the
tambourine alone in creating yet another totally forgettable one-hit wonder,
Paul deserves to be cleverly inducted
into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and then I will immediately set Paul’s
balls solidly into a bed of acrylic modified, quick setting, epoxy
grout.
RB: Your 30 seconds is up, and that was not INTERESTING
ENOUGH.
PC: ssssshhhhhhhhoooooooot. I was at Woodstock,
BEHIND the stage, with Wavy Gravy and the Hog Farm.
RB: Can
you prove it?
PC: I recently stayed with Wavy Gravy at his Camp
Win-a-Rainbow in Layton, Ca., but he doesn't even remember Woodstock, much
less me. Jorma Kaukonen (Jefferson Airplane), who teaches guitar at
Wavy's camp, remembers me very well, but you would not recognize him at all
these days. My sister was at Woodstock with me, but she is now a
Buddhist Monk in Paris, France, and runs the Zen Centre de Paris, and you
can call her if you want to. Rombox, you don’t think a Buddhist Monk
would lie about a thing like that, do you?
RB: No, just
checking your credentials…….
please hold…….......
PC: I hate being put on hold. If it
wasn’t the Rombox, I would definitely hang up.
RB: Ok, we’re
back, and you apparently passed our credit check.
PC: Whoopie-woo,
can I buy, lease, or charge Carl Gardner?
RB: You really push
the envelope, don’t you Mr. Cross?
PC: If you don’t call me Peter,
I may peter out.
RB: hmmmmmm. Let me check our
insurance policy about petering out.
PC: And while you do, let me
tell you a bit about my life in Greenwich Village.
RB: I
thought you said you escaped to the suburbs?
PC: Yeah, but at age
17, I escaped the suburbs and moved back to the Village. 49 Prince
Street, to be exact, right in the heart of Little Italy, with the long black
sedans, guys named Large Louie, and the smell of garlic pasta intermingled
with garbage of
unknown origin.
RB: This is supposed to be interesting to our
audience?
PC: WAIT A MINUTE…. HOLD THE PHONE….WHO IS YOUR AUDIENCE,
EXACTLY?
RB: Well, it is only me and this recording machine
just now, but you never know how many people might eventually read what you
are saying to me if the Rombox decides that you have anything worthwhile to
say.
PC: Wow, this is potentially HISTORIC. I better watch
my spelling and grammar for all those unfortunates who may have to study this
interview for some music class, psychiatry class, west coast enlightenment
through “feeling” seminar, or other accredited farce…whoops, I mean
course.
RB: You do have a knack for digressing. Can we
get back to the point please? HOW MANY STARS HAVE YOU MET, AND HOW MANY HAVE
YOU SLEPT WITH??
PC: Over 15, and zero, respectively.
RB:
You slept with NO STARS AT ALL? And you think our audience has some
OTHER interest in you?????
PC: No, I guess not. But I slept
with many ladies who SHOULD have been stars…. I will NEVER forget any
of them, even though I do not remember any of their names. It was
truly the best of times.
RB: Well then, at a very minimum, for
the record, which STARS did you meet in person, please?
PC:
Chronologically? To the best of my feeble recollection:
1.
King Louis the 1st (“They’re Coming to Take Me Away, ho ho, he he, ha ha”),
The Dolphins were second act
2. Ben E. King, The Dolphins were
second act
3. Little Anthony, The Dolphins were second act
HEY !
! ! Second act to Benny the King and Little Anthony is REALLY
SOMETHING.
4. Freddy Scott, my one hit hero, possibly the greatest
one hit singer of ALL TIME.
5. Peter, Paul, & Mary, at the Café
Wha in the West Village; I thought they were just AWFUL, with no vocal
mix at all, and so I advised them to stick to instrumentals.
6. The
Left Banke, at Mercury Records on 57th St. We met in the bathroom,
briefly.
7. Half the cast at Woodstock, but with half the brains.
The hash was memorable.
8. Cat Stevens, in Nat Weiss’
apartment, prior to release of his first hit.
9. Jimi Hendrix, at
Electric Ladyland with Gary Kelgren, at various all-night delis looking for a
really fresh salad for Jimi.
10. The Eagles, at the Record Plant in
LA, but only in passing in the “Rack Room”.
11. Prince, at the
Record Plant in Sausalito. He told me he was going to be a big star, I
listened to his music and advised him not to quit his straight job. So
much for my knowledge of the record buying public.
12. Sly Stone,
who had a private bedroom at the Record Plant, Sausalito, with a rather
unusual bed.
13. Steven Stills, all night-er at the Record Plant,
Sausalito
14. Jerry Garcia, all night-er at the Record Plant,
Sausalito
15. Ringo Starr, Eric Clapton, and Ronnie Wood at the
infamous “Clapp house” on Paradise Island, Nassau, The Bahamas (rented by
Jamie and Jorje Bonnilla, the former Columbian Brothers from the little town
of Medellin).
There are more, but I would rather not get any further
into it at this time (legal difficulties, potential conflict of interest,
etc…… you know)
RB: Our audience wants Star talk.
PC:
I am Starcrost, you know.
RB: Yes, I was going to ask you about
that. What the hell is Starcrost supposed to mean, anyway?
PC:
I am Peter Cross. Because of my horrendous personal Karma in
the last 4 years, I became “The Crossed Star", and I decided to name my
Production Company “Starcrost” as a result. My studio band, which
does not really exist, is “CROSSFIRE”, and my publishing company is named
“Hot Crossed Buns”. I can go on with this cross thing forever I think
(that is, if JESUS HIMSELF does not actively object, and if HE does, I’m
outta here in a hurry and I will legally change my name to ALONJOSEPHUS
SMITH and become a monk). If I host my own chat room, it will have to
be named “CROSSTALK” (just as a tip-your-hat to AA), and then I suppose we
will have to follow in the footsteps of Ted Turner and have a CROSSCHANNEL,
and then imitate that inimitable Brandon guy with the Airline, and the
Balloons, and the Virgin Stores which we will have to buy out and rename as
CROSSTORES which we will fill with priceless memorabilia signed by Peter
Cross just before he
died.
RB: Do you plan to die?
PC: Yes, don’t
you?
RB: That’s rhetorical…. I think it’s a question of
how soon, isn’t it?
PC: You hit the nail squarely on the head
there, Rombox.
RB: We here at Rombox live a clean life,
exercise regularly, eat well, pray daily, respect the inherent integrity of
all human beings, and we choose to live in Pennsylvania because our heart is
with the original Pilgrims and their freedom loving slaves and children.
Of course, we recognize that the Pilgrims did land somewhere off Cape
Cod, and there probably were Normans or Icelanders, or Geeks prior to the
Mayflower bunch, but we do have the original cracked Liberty Bell, the Ben
Franklin Museum (check it out, kids), soft shell crabs, miles and miles of
uncharted wilderness populated by absolutely NOBODY, except every now and
then you come across a Daniel Boone type character with a very LARGE knife,
who says…. “NOW THIS….. IS A
KNIFE" ! ! !
PC: Hey, I spent a winter in Georgetown that I would
rather forget. I kept looking for a cherry tree to chop down, but in
the winter you can’t tell whether they are cherry trees or apple trees
unless you know what you're talking about, and I obviously do
not.
RB: You digressed again. Georgetown is in
Washington, D.C.
PC: No, you digressed….. here, read the
transcript…… we were talking about dying, and the next thing is, you
feel the need to defend Pennsylvania, the most Intelligent of all the States
in the Union, and the one Least in Need of Defense.
RB: How
many Stars did you say you slept with, personally?
PC: I think we
both need some sleep. This interview is concluded. What do you
say we title it “Part 1” ?
RB: I will have to check with our
sponsors.
PC: Take a meeting with them. Do lunch.
Send me the receipt.
RB: Leflaw will be in contact with you,
I’m sure.
PC: Tell Leflaw that I hope we never face off in court.
It’s a potential conflict of interest because I would like to be his
friend, or at least an acquaintance, maybe a co-director of a non-profit
foundation, something like that.
RB: OK. This is the
end of The Peter Cross Interview, Part 1.
PC: There is no end.
Einstein proved it.
RB: WHAT???
PC: Einstein
was a very close personal friend of my grandfather, Otto Juliusberger, who
was a prominent psychiatrist in Berlin, and a contemporary of Freud.
Einstein brought his nephew to my grandfather for treatment of
“schizophrenia” (which was probably no more than a young man with an
identity crisis, but we will never know) and they became close friends.
Einstein emigrated to the US in the mid
1930’s, but kept in contact with my grandparents. In 1939, my
grandparents had to go into hiding to escape the Gestapo, and Einstein not
only GOT THEM OUT of there, he PAID for their passage to the United States,
and he SPONSORED them for citizenship. They remained close personal
friends. He honored my grandparents by attending my parents wedding.
I bounced on Einstein’s knee when I was too young to remember.
My aunt, when she died, left boxes full of letters from Einstein to my
grandfather and vice versa to the NYC public library. All I have
left, is a copy of a Letter of Recommendation that Einstein wrote for my
father, and it hangs on my living room wall along with a private picture of
Einstein. AND THAT……. is the end of Part 1.
RB: You
can’t just leave us hanging there.
PC:
I’m afraid I have to, because we are about to get into really serious
stuff, like the Theory of Relativity, The Unified Field Theory, The Origin of
the Universe, The Reason for It All, Why It Keeps Going in the Face of
Apparent Failure, and Where it Will all End???????? Stuff like that.
I promise to EXPLAIN IT ALL, in Part 2.
RB:
WHAT????
PC: Please remind me when we resume this interview that
you are entitled to three (3) questions, about ANYTHING AT ALL concerning
LIFE, GOD, ETC. (B.S. intellectual questions about obscure facts are NOT
included), and I will truthfully answer all three questions to the best of
my ability… which is formidable. TRY ME. I challenge YOU,
Rombox.
But I advise you to consult with an attorney, preferably one
who can actually TUNE a guitar, can play slide WITHOUT re-tuning to open
string chords, has truly LISTENED to Timmy McDonald, and knows how to
resolve an A minor to a B major at the very END of a song (i.e. “A Question
of Love”).