Chapter1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5

Not only is this a story about finding yourself. This is a story about letting people live their lives the way they want. Not everyone wants to live life the same way, and that’s what makes people so interesting. My belief is that people should do what makes them happy. In Will’s case his passion was discovering the world and getting into trouble. At one point my mother asked me to go talk sense into Will. I refused. In my mind he was already making more sense than anything I had ever done. He was out living life the way he wanted and not the way other people wanted him to. I think this is a valuable lesson that everyone should take with them. Please, keep this in mind as you go through this story.


Approximate time: November 2009

Alan was exactly the same as I remember him. Geeky. He wore large glasses that would have been great for burning ants as a kid. They were tapped at the center but not because they were broken. Al claimed it gave the glasses character. His hair was greasy and came down past his ears. He was always wearing button down shirts with a pocket protector. This guy was the epitome of geekiness, there was an antifucking aura just surrounding him. There was not a way in the universe that would get this man a woman, or even just get laid.

“Hello Will, I’m Jenny, it’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you Jenny. How long did Alan say you two were dating?” I asked practically drooling. Jen was possibly one of the hottest girls I had ever seen. This girl was past porn star hot. On a scale of one to ten Jenny was boneable. Just looking at her made my pants move.

“Oh about six months,” she said leaning over to kiss him. “We’ve been living together for about a month though.”

Wow. I guess the nerds really are starting to get the girls.

She had red hair and blue eyes. Her breasts were large, but not overly so, they were obviously natural. They were well formed and flowed into her skinny waist very well. She wore tight jeans that hugged her tight ass and pulled the attention of every male in the room.

“Al says you’ll be staying with us for a while. What brings you to Atlanta?”

“I’ve been traveling around the east coast. Somehow I just stopped in Atlanta and I thought it would be cool if I met up with my old high school buddy.”

“Are you looking for work? I’m sure Alan’s father would be happy to give you a job working for his company. They’re always looking for fresh hands to help out.”

“Yeah, that would be awesome.” What am I saying? I don’t want to get tied down anywhere. Now what if I want to leave? I’m going to have to quit or get fired. This isn’t cool. I hate you, you evil seductress! Why would you do this to me?

I smiled. “Thank you.”

“We’re working on the Centennial Olympic Park in the center city tomorrow. It’s our biggest job. Why don’t you come on out with us and if you do a good enough job I can offer you the job myself.”

“You can?”

“Yes, I’m the site manager.”

“Wow, that’s impressive.”

“My dad said that he would put me on the administrative team if I came to work for him straight out of high school. It was the best decision I made because it’s how I met Jenny. She is the florist that my dad’s company buys its materials from.”

“That’s sweet,” I said even though I was gagging at how lame the story was.

“Well, it’s going to be a big day tomorrow. You probably want to get some sleep. We don’t have an extra bedroom but you’re welcome to sleep on the couch. We’ll leave you now.”


As they left Jenny wrapper her arm around Al’s back and slid her hand into his back pocket. My gag reflex went off again. I crawled onto the couch and passed out without even undressing.

The next day was as boring as anything. All we did in the morning was move dirt around to get it ready for the winter. The remainder of the day was devoted to installing Christmas lights. We, along with some other volunteers, put up over 20 miles of the damn things. I do have to admit, it looked nice when we were done but it was really a pain to do. Something I have a lot of trouble with is monotony. Repetition bores me beyond belief, which is what made this job so challenging. By the time we finished it was dark and the lights were shining brilliantly. The entire park was glowing from the tiny bulbs. Even though I didn’t do much work or try very hard, a point I made very clear, Alan offered me the job anyway.

Alan and Jenny took me out to celebrate, their treat. Jenny invited some of her friends: two blond lesbians. Incidentally, they were lovers. Hotlanta is amazing: beautiful girls everywhere. They took me to a local bar that didn’t card me. It was a good thing because I didn’t have a fake I.D. on me. We ordered a round of shots to start things off. If you haven’t figured it out by now alcohol and me don’t mix well. After a few more rounds of shots and two beers I was inebriated and I started making jokes about the lesbians. We got into a vivid discussion on the points of being homosexual.

“Honestly, each gender knows what they want. I know where to touch a girl to make her moan. Do you?”

“Yes ma’am I do,” I replied slurring my speech. “I bet I could make you moan loader than her,” I said pointing at her lovely companion.

“Ha! That is something I would like to see.”

By this point Al and Jen had left to go back to the apartment. I wasn’t sure if they were disturbed by our conversation of if they just wanted some alone time. Either way I wasn’t going to lose this debate. I was going to prove to this young lady that she should be doinking [1]me instead of her girlfriend. Of course, next thing you know we’re back her apartment, but there was something that I hadn’t planned on. Not only was I in bed with this girl but her girlfriend was with us. The three of us had one hell of a night. It was concluded that a girl was no substitute for a man but that the combination was obviously the best choice. It turns out that Jenny was wrong when she told me they were lesbian. Apparently they were bisexual.

I lay there running my finger over one of their backs gently tracing the curves of her body. The other one was passed out on the floor. I could never keep their names straight. One was Julie and the other was Lily but they both looked so similar that I often called them the wrong name. They were so wasted they didn’t mind.

The next day I still couldn’t get their names straight based on their faces so I did it based off of breast size. Yes, that sounds shallow but my hangover was so bad that I didn’t care, I simply wanted them to stop bitching every time I did the name swap. Julie had the bigger breasts while Lily had the bigger butt. They were both the sexiest girls that I had ever slept with.

For breakfast they made me pancakes and coffee for my hangover. They had no problem taking care of me. Neither of them had jobs. Ironically both of their fathers were big business men. They were daddy’s little girl. Their parents paid for everything, the apartment rent, food, utilities, and clothes. Both of them had a no limited platinum credit card.

They invited me to stay with them. That morning I didn’t show up for work. Alan called over to the house in the afternoon to see if I was still around. I debated having them tell him I had skipped town but it would have created issues if I bumped into him later on.

“Hey Al.”
“Hey Will. You didn’t show up for work today. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m doing great. Look, I don’t think I’m going to need the job after all. The girls invited me to move in with them.”


“Thanks anyway,” I said hanging up the phone. “So, now where were we?” I asked Julie.

“If I remember correctly it was somewhere around here…” she reached down and started gently rubbing my crotch.

“Yes, that’s exactly where we were,” I replied before I started kissing her.

Those first few days were like nothing else. We had more sex in three days than I had in my entire life. While my sex drive was satiated my thirst for cocaine grew worse. Eventually I was able to talk the girls into buying me some of guilty pleasure. I invited them to join me. Their irresistible curiosity drew them in. After they did their first line their lives changed forever.

Suddenly there were hidden stashes of cocaine in every room. It became almost an hourly occurrence for everyone to take a hit. They were so wealthy that the cost was irrelevant. I was pumping my veins full of poison but it didn’t matter. My body was in a constant high and my mind was suspended in ecstasy. The apartment had essentially become an opium den, more specifically our opium den. Unless we absolutely had to the three of us never left the sanctity of the apartment. The usual reason that would drive us out of the hole was a shortage of drugs.

Once a week or so we would have to go to one of the local dealers and pick up a very large package. Transporting large quantities of cocaine on the open streets is a difficult task. Unless you have two hot, blond lesbians who have some nice hiding places up their skirts. Suddenly a legal search becomes sexual harassment. Now, that is how you “get ‘r done” you bloody redneck.

Of course there were some obvious needs that kept us from staying high all the time. Sleep was a major one. After about three days of insomnia from the constant rush your body simply ceases to function. It’s not quite an overdose; more or less it is your body’s will giving out. There is only so much abuse the mind, spirit, psyche, and physical containment can handle before they give out.

Waking up was the worst feeling because all the damage came on at once and you were assaulted by different wants and needs that all needed to be satisfied simultaneously:

The desire to eat after two straight days of sleep. The want to change your soiled clothes. The need to urinate more. The urge to continue sleeping. The wish for more pain killers to dull the headache. The yearning for water to quench your dehydration.

Worst of all was the need for more cocaine so in the end that was the first priority. After that nothing else mattered. My wants and desires faded away along with my pain and sorrows. Suddenly all that mattered was the high.

I had called my mother before things got too crazy. Now that I had a more stationary location, and filler her in on where I was. She wanted to know everything that was going on. I let her in on some things but left all of the drugs out. She was just so excited to hear from me.

“Tell me everything.”

“I will mom, just not over the phone. It’s easier to explain in person.”
“Can you come back for Thanksgiving? Your grandmother would really like to see you. Your cousin is going to be there. He’s coming for lunch before he has to go to his dad’s house. His mother said that he doesn’t want to be the teenager there.”

“No mom, I don’t think I can. I have a job down here now,” I lied to her.

“William! You have a job? Why didn’t you tell me? What is it doing?”

“It’s landscaping. I don’t know it just didn’t seem that important.”

“Are you kidding? This is huge. I’m so proud of my little boy.”

“Ung. Mom, cut it out. Look, I’ll call you at Thanksgiving. Right now I have to go.”

“Okay honey I can’t wait to hear back from you.”


Time always moves forward even when it seems that it has stopped. I was so absorbed in my drug abuse that I lost all sense of time. Thanksgiving rolled around and of course, I forgot to call my mom. There was no time to take a break from my tenacious addiction.

The phone was ringing but I was too out of it to get up. I could dully hear Julie pick up the receiver, “Hello?”

“Yes, just a minute. Will it’s your mom.”

I stood up and trudged over to the phone. “Huh?” I asked my mom.

“Hey William. Did you forget to call?

“Did I forget to call? Was I supposed to call you?”

“Do you know what day it is?”


“Today is Thanksgiving. You promised you’d call me on Thanksgiving.”

“Oh my gosh I forgot. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it I’m just glad I can talk to you. How is your Thanksgiving going?”
“It’s good. How is grandmother’s house?”

“Everyone here misses you. We wish you were up here eating with us.”
“Yeah, maybe I can make it up next year.”

“That would be nice. I’m standing here next to your cousin. Do you want to talk with him?”

“Sure, put him on.”

There was some shuffling on the other end of the line. I could make out the muffled tones of people talking on the other side of the line.


“Hey how’s it going cuz?”

“It’s great how about you?”

“Things are going great. How’s the food up there?”

“Pretty good. I can’t believe you left me up here to deal with these people. You know how difficult our family is. Who the heck am I supposed to hang out with?”

“Ah sorry man. I’m just down here staying with a couple of lesbians. It’s great. I’m sorry you have to deal with all that. My advice is to get out as soon as you can.”


“Yeah, I’m having the time of my life.”

“That’s awesome man. My mom’s been telling me all about what you’ve been up too lately. I think it’s awesome. I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. Too bad you couldn’t make it up here though. I would have loved to talk to you about it.”

“Maybe we can catch up sometime.”

“Definitely. I’m going to have an airsoft[2] party sometime soon. I’ll be sure to invite you if you’re in town. It’s going to be pretty awesome.”

“Just let me know when you’re doing it. I’ll do my best to make it.”

“Alright, talk to you later dude.”


My body weight was dropping rapidly as I was essentially starving myself while over stimulating my internal organs. The amount of toxin in my system was increasing exponentially and was leaving at a very slow half-life. While my fat and muscle dissipated I could literally feel my body begin to be weighed down by the mountains of white powder (metaphorically of course). Anyone who has a common sense of logic can see where this is going. My B.M.I.[3] was drastically below where it should have been. This meant that the same amount of any given substance would have more of an effect on my body even though I was feeling it less mentally, as I had been building up a tolerance. By this point I was used to increasing the amount I took on a weekly basis. To put this into summary I was increasing my dosage while I should have been decreasing it. That doubled with the fact that we had started doing meth was just bound to lead to disaster.

“Did you see that?!”

Julie was asleep. I shook her in a frantic panic.

Get up you stupid comatose bitch! “Julie!” I whispered in an urgent tone.

“Ung,” she moaned as she rolled over. Due to the irony that god has for people in our situations she was on a couch with nowhere to roll. Thud! She hit the ground but was so out of it she stayed down. I turned my attention to

“Lily, did you see that?”

“See what?”

“I think the police are here. They’re out looking for me right now.”
“Well what the hell are you doing here? You’re going to get us all in trouble Will!”

“I didn’t think they would find me. Come on, we gotta get out of here.”

“What about Julie?”

“She can take care of herself. I tried to warn her but I think the police already got her. Look this is some crazy shit, I want you to know that I love you.”

“I love you too,” she said kissing me. We half lay down, and half fell down onto the floor. She reached down and unbuckled my belt and my unbuttoned my pants. I slid down her short pants and underwear kissing her zealously the entire time. Then, without protection I slid into her. With reckless abandon I worked away like the world was going to end. She screamed in pleasure. This fueled my drug induced sex drive causing me to plow into her even harder. I was working away like there was no tomorrow, and to me there was no tomorrow. The cops were about to bust down the door any moment and come either take me away or just shoot me on the spot. Ridiculous as my fears were they weren’t totally baseless as I had just been on the wrong side of a prison beating.

Lily raked my back with her fingernails, pulling away a few layers of skin. I groaned, partially in pleasure but mostly with pain. My eyes watered but the intensity of it all kept me going. She shrieked loud enough to leave my ears ringing. She was wet, really wet. It was dripping out of her. The episode was too much. Finally she let out one final yelp and collapsed as I finished. We lay there for a few minutes utterly exhausted. It’s obvious that my logic complex was failing. I was convinced that someone was after me yet I just lay there in Lily’s arms after wasting time fucking her brains out[4].

Thump! Thump! Thump!

What was that?

Thump! Thump! Thump! The noise came in rapid succession this time. “This is the police. Open up.”

I jumped to my feet and pulled up my pants. Fuck! This succubus was just a ploy the pigs used. I knew falling in love would be my demise. It’s just like all those movies. Woman truly is man’s weakness. It’s okay, I know what to do. This speed is great. I can see everything happening in slow motion; at this rate I can outrun the police cruisers. I thought as I opened the window and climbed out onto the fire escape. I looked out over the railing and saw the sheer drop seven stories down. My mind went blank. All I could think about was how I was going to fall. Slowly I slid to my hands and knees and pushed myself back against the buildings wall. Wrapping my fingers around the grated fire escape I listened to the scene unfold inside.

The knocking on the door persisted. Their muffled voices just carried out the window, “We know you’re in there, we’ve received noise complaints.”

“Just a second,” I could hear Lily shouting. The sound of footsteps resonated through the window frame followed by the sound of the door opening.

“Maim! Please cover yourself.”

Oh shit! She forgot to get dressed. They’ll know something is wrong now.

“Oh I’m sorry officers. My boyfriend, actually my fiancé and I were just making love.”

“Thank you for making yourself decent. Now maim there are sound ordinances for these kinds of things. This actually isn’t that uncommon. We’re going to let you off with a warning this time but if we receive another complaint we’re going to have to deal with it. Do you understand?”

“Yes suh’. I won’t moan no more.”

“Alright maim, have a nice day.”

The door slammed closed and I could hear the locks close behind it. “Will where are you?”

“Out here.”

“What are you doing out there silly?”

“I was trying to run away, but I couldn’t get down the fire escape.”
“You were leaving?”

“I told you the police were after me.”

“So you were going to leave me to deal with them while you ran away?” She said, her eyes tearing. “After you just said you loved me and fucked me? How could you do this to me? I was going to devote myself to you. We were going to run away from Julie and live together in a cottage in the middle of nowhere.”

“Where the fuck did you get that idea?”

“Uh! Get out of my house.”

“Wait wait wait. We can live in a cottage,” I said trying to save my ass with whatever lie it took.

“Get out now. You pansy-ass coward. Now I remember why I hate men.” She started to hit me over and over. I quickly collected my stuff and tried to sneak out a few bags of cocaine but Lily followed me from room to room brutalizing me until I was out of the apartment and onto the pavement. I was homeless again.

I got lucky twice that day. Obviously the cops could have noticed that I was not at my full capacity and taken me and the girls into custody until they could obtain a search warrant. If that had happened there was so much cocaine and pot in the room and in our systems that we would probably be tried as dealers. Secondly Lily could have easily gotten pregnant. She was on no form of the pill and without any other form of contraception we were lucky that nothing happened. Aside from the fact that we weren’t on a speaking basis after that day we were far from ready to bring a child into the world, let alone raise it. All things considered that day turned out pretty good… in hind sight.


Pride is a funny thing. Hubris as it is known in Latin has often been the fall of man. Letting go of pride is possibly the hardest thing you can ask a man to do. Material possessions will never matter in the long run and everything else is an illusion. The one thing that actually exists in a man’s mind and soul is pride. Having something, some feat, to be proud of is the greatest pleasure for a person. A legacy will carry on beyond life, and that is the one thing that man has to be remembered by. The only thing that truly defines a man and makes him have purpose is his pride and that which he can be proud of.

I was not proud that I had quit my job to become a junkie. At the same time I needed some way of living. After living on the streets of Philadelphia I wasn’t too keen on moving back into a metaphorical cardboard box. What I do have to be proud of is that I was able to let go of my pride. I was determined not to meet Nemesis[5] so I went to Al’s apartment.

The door opened slowly and there he stood. Al’s jaw literally dropped.

I started talking as fast as I could so that I could get my piece in before he could stop me, “Al, before you say anything I wanted to apologize. I acted immaturely when I quit earlier and I totally understand if you refuse but, I wanted to ask you for my job back.” It looked like Alan was about to pass out from surprise. “I promise I won’t mess up this time and I’ll work extra hard. There isn’t really anywhere else for me to go.”


“If it’s going to be a problem I understand.”

“What I’m trying to say is that I admire your courage in coming back here. I think you have potential but I don’ think you’re ready for a job right now.”

I was broken. This was my only stop. It was so far past my last chance of redemption that I was completely at a loss. With a broken heart I accepted my position, “Okay. Thanks anyway.”

“However, I may be crazy but I want to give you a chance. Do you need somewhere to sleep? I won’t leave a friend out on the street.”

“I do. Thanks. I promise that I’ll try harder than before.”

And so I was back on my feet. I no longer had access to the same quantity of drugs as before which proved to be both a bad and a good thing. Without something to stem my addiction I was suffering from some symptoms of withdrawal. At the same time my body was starting to heal. It wasn’t possible for me to go completely without my vices but I certainly toned it down a lot. I started saving some of my money and eventually earned enough to rent a small, filthy apartment. Saying, “It wasn’t much,” was an understatement but, it was better than imposing on my new boss.

I worked harder than I ever have before. It wasn’t long before I had learned all the ins and outs of the landscaping business. Typically I worked more hours than a full work week. My overtime helped me get some more cash but mostly it kept me occupied so that I wasn’t getting into trouble. While I was unable to completely cure my addiction I had certainly stemmed it to a hobby rather than an obsession. I still wasn’t talking with Julie or Lily and apparently they had stopped talking with Jenny about the time I moved in. That situation made things a little awkward so we avoided the tabooed subject. Alan, Jenny, and I were getting along very well. At least twice a week we would all eat dinner together.

My mother and I had been talking more and more frequently than before. For the first time since Philly I was able to buy a cell phone. Again, it wasn’t a good cell phone but it was better than nothing at all. The reason I was unable to have a phone up to this point stemmed from two things. First off I was unable to afford paying a monthly bill. My mother had tried to buy one for me to keep in touch but I ended up selling it so I could pay for more of my poison.

It seemed I was finally getting back on track. Of course, if you haven’t figured it out by now, trouble seems to follow close behind me. Events that were often out of my control took hold of my life and took me where they willed. This is one of the only times I willingly took a leap of faith and fell into serious problem.

One night I went to a nightclub with Alan near the park, which we were still working on. We were partying it up with a couple of beautiful girls when I saw her. At 5’11’’ with long brunette hair she was stunning. When she walked her hips would swing from side to side. She was wearing a tight T-Shirt that read, “D-D,” one on each breast, and a short jean skirt. Angel girl, as I had decided to call her, was leaning against the bar with one leg extended and the other slightly bent. One hand was on her glass, some sort of beer which was almost empty, the other hand was running through her hair. She blinked and I could see a hint of glitter on her eyelids. The bar light reflected off of her fair complexion, almost giving her an aura of illumination.

Snap, I came out of my trance as the girl I was dancing with grabbed my crotch and tried to start caressing me. I grabbed her hand and pulled it away without a word.

“What’s wrong?”

I didn’t answer as I walked away to go talk with this Angle girl who had thrown herself into my life. “Mind if I buy you a drink?”

She looked at me and then turned to the bartender. “I’ll have a tequila, on him.”

“And I’ll have a Budweiser. Name’s Will,” I said turning my attention from the bartender to Angel girl.

“Nice to meet you Will. Now will you leave me alone,” she said emphasizing the ‘will.’

“Haha very funny. I’d love to leave you alone but see you’re in my bar and it would be downright impolite of me to leave you standing here alone,” I lied never having been in the bar before.

“Your bar?”

“Yup. See that, the bar tender isn’t even going to make me pay,” I said as he served us our drinks.

“That will be eight dollars asshole,” the bartender said making sure the entire bar could hear him.

“Really John? You’re going to make me pay?” I asked winking at the bartender, what I thought would be interpreted as a symbol that if he went along with it I would tip heavily. Unfortunately he didn’t share my humor and decided the cockblock was worth more than a big tip.

“Pay up, deadbeat.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what I was hoping would happen,” I relented as I paid the bartender. “I clearly don’t own this bar but, I might as well considering how often I’m in here,” I continued with another lie going for broke.

“Really? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before. Have you Dick?”

“Nope,” replied the bartender.

“It’s funny; my friend owns this bar so I come here a lot. I guess you could say that I’m a regular. I wonder why we’ve never bumped into each other before.”

“Alright, you’re just trying to shoot me down aren’t you? I’ve never been here before. If you won’t drink with me can I at least get your name?”

“Heh heh. I wouldn’t say that I’m trying to shoot you down, you’re just setting yourself up for failure. My name’s Autumn. Now—”

“—why don’t you leave, yes I get it. You like the puns don’t you?”

“Actually I was going to invite you to sit with me and my friends.”

“Let me get this straight, I just made such a big fool of myself and now you’re interested? You didn’t want to sit with me when I was trying to act cool but now that I look like an idiot you want to drink with me?”

“To be fair I didn’t know you before. Now we’ve had a conversation and I think you’re funny. Why don’t you just come have a drink?”

“Of course.”

“This time, on me.”

So that night went pretty well. We laughed it up and found out we had a lot in common. She was the most interesting woman I had ever met. She loved animals; in fact she had two dogs and three cats. She went to rehab about a year ago for heroin, but still smoked pot. She kicked ass at video games, a lesson I would soon be taught, and listened to just about every type of music. When she said every type she meant it, unlike most people. Her iPod had everything from Lil Wayne to Bach. She was amazingly smart for all the substance abuse she had endured.

“Alright you little shit, last call. One for the road?” The bartender asked me.

“That’s alright Dick I’m good.”

“Then hit the road shit-dick.”

“Yes sir, Mr. Big Brother, sir.”

Autumn and I donned our jackets and stepped out onto the streets. “So, when will I see you again?” I asked as a brisk wind passed between the buildings.

“How do you even know I want to see you again? I mean those moves earlier were pretty… slick,” she added sarcastically.

“Please baby, my game was off to a bad start but I was hitting homeruns from there on out.”

She laughed coyly, turned around and left. What the fuck? I thought we were totally hitting it off. Oh well, I’ll just see if I can catch her tomorrow, she’s probably playing hard to get.

But she wasn’t. I went to that bar every day for a week with no sight of her. The bartender was no help. Every time I asked for a hand he just called me some derogatory name and refused to serve me any alcohol. Fucking prick. If he wasn’t a sheer wall of muscle I would beat his head in.

Finally I gave up and stayed home for the night. I turned on my little piece of shit that hardly qualified as a television and flipped through the channels. There was a gentle rapping on the door. Like hell I’m getting out of my chair. The rapping persisted.

“I know you’re in there.”

I know that voice. How the hell did she find me though.

“You better fucking open this door right now.”

Shit, what do I do?

“Don’t make me break the door down.”

I don’t have clean clothes on, and my place is a mess… okay, even when it’s clean this dump is a pigsty. Oh well, it’s impolite to keep a girl waiting.

I opened the door just a crack and tried to step outside. Unfortunately she just pushed me back into my room and stepped in herself.

“What, you weren’t even going to invite me in?”

“Sorry Autumn. It’s kind of a mess in here.”

“Don’t worry about it. Hey, is that an X-box?”

“Hmm? Yeah it is.”

“Want to play for a few minutes before we go?”

“Go where?”

“Do you want to play?”

“What? Sure.”

“Just don’t cry like a bitch when I beat you down.”

“Please honey, I don’t let anyone win, especially women.”

“That’s it, turn it on. I’m gonna school your ass.”

And that’s exactly what she proceeded to do. This girl meant business when it came to video games. I don’t think I scored a single point against her. Of course I started out slow, but the harder I tried the worse I lost. We only played a round or two, but it was probably for the best as the more we played the harsher my loss became.

“Are you ready to go then?”

“Sure, but you still haven’t told me where we’re going.”

[1] Doinking: The act of sexual intercourse put in nice terms; fucking; boneing

[2] Airsoft: A variant of paintball that uses small plastic bb’s as the munitions. Often when people play airsoft they dress up in time period clothes and reenact actual battles. Basically paintball is for pussies and airsoft is for men.

[3] Body Mass Index: A scale comparing height and weight

[4] Fucking her brains out: synonymous with ‘complete sexualization‘

[5] Nemesis: A Greek goddess. It was her task to deliver divine retribution on all those who fell to hubris.